The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves. Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score The only thing that is true for all of us is that we were born, our bodies need care to survive, and then at some point our bodies break down and we die. There…… Continue reading Accepting Body Needs
These days I proudly call myself a singer, but it took me a really long time to embrace that identity. I had several run-ins with teacher/ coach/director types that snuffed it out of me at a vulnerable stage. I had to rediscover my love of singing, and I had to learn how to deal with…… Continue reading Self talk and tough love
This morning I was cooking a more involved breakfast than usual and as I sat there chopping I had a shocking realization. I hadn’t turned on music, or a podcast, or the television, or taken a phone call, or used any of the other methods of distraction I typically use. I was working in silence,…… Continue reading Feeling at home in your mind
I have a physical panic response to every notification I get. Too many years of being an opinionated woman on the internet has taught my nervous system that a little ping means I’m about to be attacked. I turn off notifications where I can, I never answer my phone, but I still have to exist…… Continue reading Seeking Quiet in a Noisy World
Body Loyalty came to me in the midst of grueling surgical recovery, so it’s no surprise that the place I started was with Quiet. I didn’t have much of a choice. I was trapped in bed for years, isolated and bored, and with no where near enough distractions to keep me ignoring my circumstances. Somewhere…… Continue reading Quiet is the starting place.
From Atti’s youngest days, I have had him out in the streets, raising his fist to the air from his stroller. That’s what comes with having a community organizer for a mother. We have attended protests on everything from student’s rights, to LGBTQ+ protections, to gender equality within religion. It’s a holy thing to me,…… Continue reading Body Protest
You don’t have control over your body. For many of our body functions, we are entirely at the mercy of nature. We are as tall as our body manages. If our lungs lose function there is no amount of willpower that will bring that function back. If our brain takes a detour into some dark…… Continue reading Control vs Agency
When you start up therapy, one of the first things the therapist will do is warn you that things may get intense and they may get worse before they get better. This is part of the ‘informed consent’ medical practitioners need to provide to patients or clients prior to providing services. In my experience, it’s…… Continue reading When your healing becomes a threat
I’ve been in plenty of liberation spaces and recovery spaces with fat people and the stories I’ve heard make me angry and heartbroken and determined to keep working. The one that I don’t think I’ll ever forget is when someone told me how they are careful exerting themselves in public because they didn’t want to…… Continue reading Body Cops and Gatekeepers
Because I live in Disability World – the place where people with disabilities are exiled to so that society doesn’t have to think about us – I come at things from a different perspective than non-disabled folks. I do not have the expectation of health or ability. It is never far from my thoughts that…… Continue reading The reality of bodies