I left high demand religion in 2015 and started the long deconstruction and deconversion process. It is a challenging road with a lot of heartache and doubt. The foundation you built your life on, all your relationships, your career and plan for your future, the way you see the world, all have to be untangled…… Continue reading Deconstructing Bad Advice
It took me a lot of life experience before I started to internalize the idea that care was something people are entitled to. I was raised in a way that made me ashamed and embarrassed for needing any help or care, and by a family that also gave me age inappropriate responsibilities to provide care.…… Continue reading Care is our birthright
My big health crisis that started this new approach came right on the heels of leaving the high demand religion I was raised in. I was deconstructing everything I’d ever been taught about the world, holding it up to the light, and examining if it was still worth keeping. The faith community I come from…… Continue reading Diet and Exercise should feel like care
During the subscription box boom of the mid 2010’s, I was an entrepreneur. My business partner and I launched a subscription box themed around self care supplies. We had bonded over some shared traumatic calamities and knew how important self care was to our survival, so in the girl boss theme of the time, we…… Continue reading Self care isn’t for sale
Parenting always brings the dilemma: is it time to push my child more, or is it time to leave things be and let them figure it out? Is it time to push, or time to glide? My son was born with multiple disabilities and high support needs, so my version of this question often came…… Continue reading When to Accept and When to Fight
The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves. Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score The only thing that is true for all of us is that we were born, our bodies need care to survive, and then at some point our bodies break down and we die. There…… Continue reading Accepting Body Needs
From Atti’s youngest days, I have had him out in the streets, raising his fist to the air from his stroller. That’s what comes with having a community organizer for a mother. We have attended protests on everything from student’s rights, to LGBTQ+ protections, to gender equality within religion. It’s a holy thing to me,…… Continue reading Body Protest
When you start up therapy, one of the first things the therapist will do is warn you that things may get intense and they may get worse before they get better. This is part of the ‘informed consent’ medical practitioners need to provide to patients or clients prior to providing services. In my experience, it’s…… Continue reading When your healing becomes a threat
I’ve been in plenty of liberation spaces and recovery spaces with fat people and the stories I’ve heard make me angry and heartbroken and determined to keep working. The one that I don’t think I’ll ever forget is when someone told me how they are careful exerting themselves in public because they didn’t want to…… Continue reading Body Cops and Gatekeepers
Because I live in Disability World – the place where people with disabilities are exiled to so that society doesn’t have to think about us – I come at things from a different perspective than non-disabled folks. I do not have the expectation of health or ability. It is never far from my thoughts that…… Continue reading The reality of bodies